He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.