you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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