I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
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Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
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the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.