Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship