i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize