haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
