why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
The ass gains better be worth it
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