We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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