Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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