before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
