i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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