if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
