just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
