i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
