Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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