i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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