Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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