i would punch a child for taco bell
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
even my farts smell like vagina
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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