Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
