I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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