What a fucking waste of an outfit
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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