Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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