i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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