you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
