shes about as inviting as chlamydia
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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