I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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