careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
