end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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