What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
