we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
