What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize