I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
