What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
