...so i touched it.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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