I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
