I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize