we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize
