dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
