please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
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I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
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Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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