I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
