you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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