He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
