You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
