in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
