did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
