I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
