His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
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I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
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Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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