i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
