arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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