My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
