Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm passing your future prison.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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