Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
