And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
