She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Green mimosas i think yes
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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