Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
