Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
