Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
