...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
