I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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