I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
