Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
