oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
