oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
