8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
