I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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