all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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