Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I lost the right to judge tonight
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
