Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
